http://tgblogsite.com/behaviormanagement Dealing with Child Tantrums 5 ways to good behavior management.

Toddler Temper Tantrums and How to React to Them

A toddler temper tantrum is something very common. Between the ages of one and three, your previously gentle and loving toddler will have a change of personality. Children of that age who are in the middle of a meltdown are incapable of hearing your message (our reasons, reassurance, distraction or warning) until they’re sure you understand and respect their message. So when your tot is upset, before you mention your ideas, take a minute to sincerely describe what he or she  is doing and how you think he or she feels.

A tantrum develops when a child feels that he has no control over his circumstances: they want things to be different, but they are helpless to bring about those changes.

It is that helplessness brings fear. After all, he or she is then at the mercy of other people’s wishes.

For most parents a tantrum is what most of us want to forget about, we would prefer that it never happens, and often we think it only happens to our offpsring.

But really they should be accepted as most likely, when a load of frustration, often spiked with fear or anxiety, builds up inside the toddler until he or she is so full of tension that only an explosion can release it.

When one happens, make it clear that you still love your child even when you’re angry at him or her. It is just developmental, and in my opinion the best thing to do is to be calm with the kid and remove him or her from the source of the problem. One cannot work with a tantrum throwing kid.

Children need to know that their parent is handling the situation for them when they are unable to do so themselves. Children are much the same way. Offering children a choice between two acceptable options may prevent the frustration that leads to tantrums. Children throw tantrums as a way of expressing anger and frustration. If the behavior is dealt with incorrectly, the child may learn to use tantrums to manipulate people and to gain attention.

Children, however, who are parented with less attachment are less able to recover from emotional storms. Attached parents can read their child so well that they naturally create conditions that minimize tantrum behavior.

However, they can continue to have daily temper tantrums for a while, but usually, if they are met with the appropriate methods of controlling them, learn within a few years to master them.

Sometimes kids can have difficulty expressing emotions, their tentrums can be severe, pushing away the very parents who are trying their best to teach, love, and guide them. Some children are more prone to these highly charged outbursts than others, but even the most meek and mild kid can have an occasional meltdown.

Jus like adults, kids’ temperaments vary dramatically, so it follows that some kids may experience regular tantrums, whereas others have them rarely. They’re a normal part of development and don’t have to be seen as something negative.

It is obviously true that some children can be unreasonable and annoying, but it is our responsibility as parents to teach them by example that proper behavior requires restraint as well as assertiveness.

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